We fall in love because of reasons we don’t even know since love is an un-explainable thing. The feeling just comes naturally when you least expect it with the much unexpected person and you feel like you own the entire world. However, Mr. Cupid may be playing with his arrows and what was once a great relationship suddenly turned into something chaotic that both of you wished you never had it in the first place. Break-ups are definitely hard and can be caused by a number of reasons depending on the situation that you and your partner is currently in. Some broke up because they fell out of love, as simple as that. But then some couples broke up even though they still love each other but circumstances and fate just came along the way.
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You were left heartbroken and even after the countless sleepless nights of crying, you still want him/her back in your life. Yes, you realize that no matter the challenges that may come your way, it is best to face those challenges with your special someone rather than just with yourself. You may have that very strong urge to get back with your ex and rekindle your flame. You make moves to win him/her back but most often than not, these moves will make your ex stay away from you for good.
How to win back your ex is definitely not an easy job and you cannot do it in a snap. This requires a process. You may think, “Why can’t I get back to him now? We had a past. Surely, I don’t need to take this whole process slow.”
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How To Win Your Ex Back?
Believe me, you should take this process one at a time. Both of you may have shared a relationship in the past but that reason is not enough to hasten the process of getting back together. Always remember that you broke up because there is a logical reason behind it and both of you are still emotionally unstable because of the break-up.
I have prepared here 4 very essential steps for you to do so that you can win your ex back and with any luck, you can keep that person in your life for good. It is important that you follow these steps accordingly and not jump from one step to another because as I have said earlier, this is a process.
Step 1: Provide Space
When the two of you broke up, both of you felt lost because you have been together for quite awhile now. Doing things without the other half felt awkward because you used to do it together. Since you broke up, there is a great tendency that you miss the other person. In instinct, you will contact him/her to see what he/she is doing. You thought that this will make everything alright and you make the other person feel that you still care. This may be a good move for you but your ex may take it the wrong way. He/she might think that you are being too clingy and instead of your wish of being back together, you might frighten your ex and push him/her further away.
Providing space will help both of you determine how important you are to each other. Most of the times, when we are in a relationship, we tend to forget who we really are as a person and lose our self along the way. With this space, you and your ex can re-connect with your selves and realize your faults. This space will also help you know on whether you are right for each other or not because I truly believe that despite the distance, love will not falter as long as it’s true. You might hear some relationships being destroyed because of the distance, however, these relationships are easily destroyed because love is not enough to keep them binding.
Most often, the space in a relationship will make you more aware of the things you need to improve and become a better person for you and your partner.
Step 2: Discover Yourself
When you have provided the space and kept out of contact with your partner, you develop self-awareness. You discover your old self that you might have forgotten or neglected and you realized how much you have changed along the course of your relationship. Once you became aware of everything, you can differentiate the negative attitudes that you have developed from the positive ones. These negative attitudes may be one of the reasons as to why you and your ex broke up in the first place. You need to work on these attitudes before you get back together so that it will not become a hindrance anymore.
Also, it will be best for you to discover new hobbies and divert your heartbreak to more satisfying and fulfilling activities. You may try learning how to paint or do rock climbing… the possibilities are endless depending on your creativity and likes. In this case, once you win and get back with your ex, you will have a new thing to bond over with.
Step 3: Take It Slow
After the proper amount of space and discovering yourself, you may now reconnect with your ex but keep in mind to take it slow. Don’t be that clingy or that head-over-heels-in-love person you used to be. It’s not that you don’t love them anymore because you stopped being clingy or being head-over-heels, you still love them that’s why you waited for the right time to get them back. However, since you already re-discovered yourself and realized your self-worth, you should live up to it. You become a whole new person under the same old you.
Once you re-connect, don’t jump right on the table and say you want him/her back. Make that person realize that you have become a better person after the break-up and let him/her now that you are still worthy to be a part of his/her life. As you started to take it slow, it will definitely progress into something better. It will feel as if you are starting over again and you forget the pains of the past. Your ex will eventually know what he/she has been missing all along.
Step 4: Talk Over Your Relationship
When you can feel that there is a return of feelings on both sides, it is the right time to talk about your relationship again. Be completely honest. Apologize for the past. Talk it through. An open communication will provide a good foundation for re-establishing your relationship.
If there were some things that you weren’t able to tell your partner way back, then it is the best time to tell it to him/her. Having a clean slate without any repressions and secrets is the best foundation to start re-building your relationship. Once you have set aside the differences and whatever it is from your past, let go and forget it. Both of you should move on from that past and start anew for a brighter and happier future together.
How to get an ex back? Well, may be hard. However, it is all worth it if you truly love the person. Your relationship may have failed once, but when both of you work willingly for a second chance, it will come naturally. Many people don’t believe in forever anymore because of failed relationships and quite a number of partners. But I tell you this, forever exists. It is very rare yet very precious and you need to work hard on your relationship to achieve forever with your partner. After all, forever is a choice. Once you are determined to spend forever with your one true love, you need to settle all differences and face all challenges together no matter how hard it may be… and only then can you have your forever.